He's not gay, he just screws men sometimes

There's a concept that people in the HIV prevention sector work with regularly that seems to mystify people who don't talk about sex workers, anal sex, and condoms everyday. I feel bad for people who are not able to talk about such interesting topics on a regular basis, and I like to share.

The concept I'd like to talk about is "Men who have Sex with Men" (MSM). This term is used to describe all men who at least sometimes have sex with other men, even if they do not self identify as homosexual, gay, or even bisexual. Believe me, at the very least, knowing this will make you a hit at dinner parties as my dad can testify.

Non-gay identified men are different from closeted gay men. Non-gay identified men do not see themselves as homosexual. A man can sometimes have sex with other men, but to identify as heterosexual. They can be married to/in a relationship with women and consider their sexual behavior with men as "playing around" or not consider it sex. Anyone who followed the Lewinsky era politics can understand the fungibility of the definition of what is "sex."

Non-gay identified men who have sex with men (NGI-MSM) includes some truck drivers and their assistants in South Asia where one of the accepted functions of a truck assistant is to fellate and massage the driver, men on the "down low" in the US, or a "gay for pay" male sex worker or pornographic actor.

Also, while transgenders (women who are born male, a portion of whom are transitioning/have transitioned to become women physically) are lumped in with MSM in some programs, they do not really fit the definition. They self identify as women and should therefore be approached as a group separate from MSM.

Self identification of gender and sexual orientation are important issues to understand in HIV prevention. Just as the Facebook male sluts (of all orientations) like to say, "it's complicated"-- but it is essential to have a chance of actually making an impact on the HIV epidemic.

Read more about HIV prevention with this self identification challenge in Wisdom of Whores by Elizabeth Pisani.

I strongly recommend reading the CDC Qualitative Report on Non-gay identified Men who have Sex with Men.

A few story examples by Non-gay identified Men who have Sex with Men.