I would be remiss if I did not include at least a bare minimum of basic education on how folks can better protect themselves during all of this sexual behavior I'm talking about.
How to Correctly Put on a Male Condom
1. Make sure the condom has not expired and check the condom package & condom for tears
2. Carefully tear open the pack, making sure not to tear the condom (teeth, scissors, and knives are forbidden here!)
3. The shiny, lubricated side of the condom should be on the outside, so the condom can easily be rolled down the penis. If the penis touches the wrong side, throw condom away and use a new condom.
4. Pinching the top of the condom, roll the condom all the way down the erect penis to the base. The entire penis should be covered by condom. Do not skip the PINCH step, this is very important to prevent breakage.
5. If the condom breaks or slips off, stop sex. You should use a new condom.
6. After ejaculation and while the penis is still erect, withdraw the penis, holding the condom by the base so no semen spills on your partner.
7. Holding the base of the condom, pull down. The condom should come off. If you wish, tie it in a knot.
8. Dispose of condoms in a trash can. Do not try to flush condoms!
For advanced male condom tips, I'd also suggest looking up a post by Eric Amaranth on the Dodson and Ross site site. Dr. Betty Dodson is a fabulous resource for any of your questions on sex and your body (not me).
How to Correctly Use Lubricant
1. Use water or silicone-based lubricant, if the lubricant is flavored, make sure it is sugar-free or you'll risk infectiony revenge (hello yeast!). Do NOT use oil-based lubricants like whipped cream, butter, oil, conditioner, or vaseline. They will break the condom. Do not use spermicides, they also increase the change of infection transmission.
2. Use a male or female condom (lubricant does not replace a condom). For male condom instructions, see above.
3. Liberally apply outside the condom-covered penis and in and around the the rectum/vaginal canal.
4. If drying or friction occurs during sex, apply more lubricant.
How to use a female condom
The "female condom" is a misnomer. More properly named the "insertive condom" it can also be used by the receptive partner during anal sex. Here is some guidance for both uses.
For Vaginal Sex
1. Carefully tear open the packet along the edge and remove the female condom. Inspect to ensure there is no damage to the condom.
2. Hold the condom with the open end hanging down, pinching it the ring with your thumb, index finger and middle finger.
3. Find a comfortable position so you may easily insert the condom (squat, sit with your knees apart or stand with one foot on a chair.)
4. The condom has a smaller inner ring (closed end) and a larger outer ring (open end). Squeezing the inner ring with your three fingers, insert it into your vagina.
5. Put your index finger inside the condom until you can feel the inner ring. Use your finger to push the ring up inside the vagina. You can tell that the condom is in place when the inner ring moves into position behind the pubic bone.
6. The outer ring should lie flat around the outside of your vagina.
7. Use your hand to guide your partner’s penis into the condom. Use your fingers to make sure the outer ring continues to lie flat against the vagina opening during sex. Make sure the penis is not inserted between condom and vagina wall.
8. After sex, remove the female condom by twisting the outer ring and pulling it out gently.
9. Wrap the condom with a paper or plastic bag and throw it into the garbage. Do not flush it.
For anal sex
1. Remove the inner ring from the condom.
2. Apply lubricant in the inside of the rectum and on the penis.
3. Place the erect penis inside the condom. The penis will help you guide the condom inside the rectum just as the inner ring would for vaginal insertion.
4. The outer ring should lie flat around the outside of your anus.
5. Use your fingers to make sure the outer ring lies flat against the anal opening during sex. Make sure the penis is not inserted between the condom and rectum.
8. After sex, remove the condom by twisting the outer ring and pulling it out gently.
9. Wrap the condom with a paper or plastic bag and throw it into the garbage bin or dustbin. Do not flush it.
How to Have Safer Anal Sex that Isn't Painful
1. Use the toilet and empty your bowels
2. Gently clean the anal area with soap and water
3. Put on a latex or polyurethane condom - condoms protect from sexually transmitted infection (STI) & HIV transmission and also protects the insertive partner from bacteria in the rectum (see above)
4. Liberally apply water-based or silicone-based lubricant in the rectum and around the anus and also put it on the outside of the (condom covered) penis
5. Gently insert 1-2 lubricated fingers to loosen your anus (or your partner can do it if his fingers are in a condom)
6. Relax the anus as the (condom covered) penis is inserted
7. If it hurts when the penis is first in, remove the penis and wait about 20 seconds before reinserting
8. If drying or friction occurs during sex, apply more lubricant
9. After intercourse, before the penis become soft, withdraw the penis and the condom together from the anus.
There is no reason anal sex should hurt!
How to Have Safer Oral Sex
Some sexually transmitted infections (STIs) CAN be transmitted through oral sex. Think about the skin on your palms versus the inside of your mouth- which one is more vulnerable to cuts and scratches?
On a penis
1. A male condom can be used starting when the penis is erect. Before then, make use of your hands. It would be even safer to use a pair of unused, sterile latex gloves with lubricant, but your hands are still a better choice than your mouth on an uncovered penis.
2. Put the condom on the penis as above.
3. Now it is mouth ready. Use SUGARLESS, flavored water-based or silicone based lubricant on the outside to address any latex taste.
4. After ejaculation, dispose of the condom in the trash (again, do not flush).
On a female and/or for Rimming
1. Use a dental dam as the barrier between mouth and genital area.
2. Use SUGARLESS, flavored water-based or silicone based lubricant on the outside to address any latex taste.
If you do not have a dental dam, take your scissors to an (empty, new) male condom.
1. Unroll a new condom
2. Cut the tip off of the condom.
3. Cut lengthwise down the condom.
And now you have your own dental dam!
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